the list: why turning 30 doesn't suck

this list is dedicated to our baby elle, who just celebrated the big 3-0! i must say, turning 30 is an amazing thing, i'm so proud when i look at all of the women i know age 30 and up. all are still so cute and becoming amazing women. as a bday tribute to elle, ive written a list on 30 reasons a woman should be thankful that shes made it to this point. *(if you're secretly wishing you were still 25, you are doing something wrong and need to immediately tap into that sexual mastery you've been given upon reaching age 30. you'll thank me later, wink wink.)

1. new decade, new chapter
2.  5 more years and you can be president
3. car insurance will decrease again
4. you can date a 40-year old without him looking like a perv
5. God has blessed you with a milestone
6. your body begins throwing off pheromones left and right
7. men LOVE a woman in her 30’s
8. children respect you
9. you become more responsible
10.  you have less bad debt than you did in your 20’s
11. your body begins to fill out and take on new levels of sexiness
12. you have a more laid-back approach to life
13. all of the hard lessons learned in your 20s will help you through this time in your life
14.  you develop better taste in men. QUALITY matters
15. …also developed is an internal bullshit detector that can detect lies,games, and general nonsense from both girls and guys
16. better fashion sense—you know what to buy that will definitely look good on you
17. your foot reaches its final shoe size
18.  you now belong to a club called “dirty thirty” (and any club that starts with “dirty” is great to be in)
19. you’ve read way more books than a 20 year old.
20. you know the exact amount of liquor you can handle in one night + you have a signature drink
21. you’ve discovered the perfect skin/makeup regime
22. bye bye acne
23. you begin to appreciate your mother and her journey
24. you can give genuine advice to women younger than you
25. everyone at your job takes you more seriously
26. you begin to protect and build your credit/savings
27. you become a Sex Goddess
28.  life begins to make sense
29. you look sexy even without showing a lot of skin
30. young enough to know the right car to buy yet grown enough not to put rims on it

Have a great day.

This girl looks like what 7th Grade feels like.

I see the 2010 version of this girl on the train every so often. I want to hug her and tell her everything will be OK. It's a lot easier to be yourself after you escape your schools subtle oppression. You'll soon discover your own quiet coolness.

And then later, you won't even give a fuck about being cool.

Trust me.

im having a love affair with anais nin

because in one of her journals she wrote this: 

“I will not love a weak man, I will not. That sensation, so familiar to me, of being unvanquished has come back to me, terrible, awesome. And I am going to defeat my destiny, I am going to escape from this fatality…I do not want to be the leader. I refuse to be the leader. I want to live darkly and richly in my femaleness. I want a man lying over me, always over me. His will, his pleasure, his desire, his life, his work, his sexuality the touchstone, the command, my pivot. I don’t mind working, holding my ground intellectually, artistically; but as a woman, oh, God, as a woman I want to be dominated. I don’t mind being told to stand on my own feet, not to cling, be all that I am capable of doing, but I am going to be pursued, fucked, possessed by the will of a male at his time, his bidding.”  

anais

the list: horror films… scary classics! don’t go to sleep or else…

Fall is my favorite time of the year—not only because of the weather, but Halloween and Dia de los Muertos are such fun holidays. Next year, I’m starting an annual tradition of hosting a Halloween party at my house where slutty and scary costumes alike are welcome. Have you ever asked someone if they’ve seen a horror classic and they’ve told you “no?” Isn’t it the weirdest thing? Like, your parents didn’t introduce you to Michael Myers when you were 5?? If you love overdosing on horror movies in October as much as I do, here’s a list of the absolute musts:

• The Exorcist—this movie will never lose its ability to scare a grown woman into sleeping with the lights on. The Devil vs. Catholic Priest is always a fight I’m willing to watch over and over again.
• American Gothic—Horror and Porn might be the only 2 genres that shine when it comes to their B-rated films and American Gothic is a shining example. A creepy family terrorizing their young houseguests to death along with a mummified baby makes this an 80’s classic.
• Beetlejuice— whatever you do, DO NOT say Beetlejuice 3 times. And truthfully, we all have a little Lydia Deetz in us.
• The Shining—Watching Jack Nicholson spiral into insanity is disturbing and impressive. Scariest moment: when Jack finally enters Room 237.
• Night of The Living Dead (1968 version)—a true classic. When watching this, I can’t help but think how realistic the possibility of the dead awaking and walking the land really is. It could happen..

Do you have any horror favorites?

The Most Beautiful Girl in the Room

Whenever I need some cheering up I just turn to my Flight of the Conchords DVDs. Or I just look for this song on you tube.


You're so beautiful (like a tree, or a high class prostitute).

midnight muse: i wish i had an all black bike

ten

this month is my 10-year anniversary at work. hard to believe i've stuck around for anything for 10 years, but especially something i have a love/hate relationship with. i work with kids in a court setting, and ive learned SO much about kids and the law over the last decade. but as i was sitting at work with a 17 year old prostitute the other day, i was reminded on the most basic of all rules. she was about to see a judge because she pulled a knife out on a man who had agreed to pay her for a blow job. blow job was done, he told her he wasn't paying, and she pulled out the knife. i asked, "why did you have to take it that far?"

she said: "If someone takes me to the back of an alley, I expect to get paid."

right.
when you commit to doing something, you better do it. otherwise, your integrity comes into question and you have no idea how bad you could be letting someone down.

L.A. Dude

"you're looking really eloquent tonight."

Uhhhh...really?

Thanks LA Dude. For making all my blanket statements about SoCal valid and causing me and Sekou to laugh hysterically now, and for the next fifty years.

OAKADEMY, and stuff.

I've been running into my boy Wes a lot recently, which is only natural since he lives a few blocks down. On our most recent run-in I was hand in hand with my boyfriend, and after introducing them to each other, it hit me how much there is to catch up on. Crazy life events. Career leaps and bounds. Relationship Status Changes. I had to think back to the last time I saw him, which was at my 4th of July party. And that doesn't even count since I was pretty much incoherent from 2pm-10pm due to wine coolers and Ciani's bottle of Grey Goose. Like for real, three months ago? That shit is unacceptable, yo. As we're leaving, Wes calls out, "Don't be a stranger!"

I won't. This week I'm catching up with all my friends, with an emphasis on the ones from Cali. There's a kinship that develops when you're from the West Coast and living in NY. It's a friendship that's almost instinctive. Wes is in the circle of folks that I can honestly proclaim,

You had me at hella.

He launched his Oakademy website recently. I've been checking it often, always leaving the window open so I can keep the music streaming. I'm bugging out to The Coltrane Project as I type this.

Oakademy's “The Coltrane Project”

This comprehensive remix album celebrates the influence Coltrane has had on generations far beyond his own. The project is meant to show appreciation for ‘Trane as a jazz legend, as well as offer an innovative new twist on some of his best compositions. The essence of his music remains intact, while incorporating top-notch talent and trailblazing visionaries in today’s music industry.

Ahhh...John Coltrane. He's of an era of musicians that inspired a quote from my Dad that always sticks with me:

Heroin's contribution to the music game is immeasurable.

Damn right.

Check it out:

www.oakademy.com

.mi vida.

I always go back to this moment.

There are some days in my life that felt so dreamlike that it's hard to believe they were actually real.

Note the absence of a life jacket.

Nothing between me and them. Nothing holding me up but the salt water.

I cherish this moment because it wasn't about holding onto their fin, or doing some trick. I was just loving them.

I wonder if they could tell.

weekend bits

wrapped up the weekend with my cousin Alexa's bridal shower, the annual AIDS Walk with Erica and Tara, followed by the Rainbow Fest. Rainbow Fest is so much fun, I swear it was over 100 degrees but that didnt stop us from dancing outside with about 500 gay men, margaritas in hand. That shall be an annual tradition.

saturday morning with Dr. West

Saturday morning I went to a panel discussion hosted by some local community leaders, professors from 2 of the state universities, and Cornel West. I'd never heard him speak in person, so when this opportunity came up I couldn't pass. The panel discussed SB 1070, the history of race relations in America, and the lies being sold to people to pass the law. Interesting discussion, as you can imagine. If you live near San Francisco, the 9th Circuit will hear the appeal on this case the first week of November, and it would be a good time to get involved, I'm hearing there will be protests on both sides of the arguments outside of the court.

 Dr. West speaks to the crowd

 my friend Ell shares the same sentiment for brownies as i do. :)

lots of political messages were being handed out, this one was my favorite :)

.love.

"Everyone always says that Love is blind.

And lately, I just feel like I really disagree.

Love is about being able to see.

Love is not the absence of sight, but the abundance of it."

-Elle

160th bday

This past weekend, my friend Tony and I went to the Jack Daniels 160th birthday bash in honor of the liquor we both love. The setting: Toby Keiths Country Bar. One thing that stood out was the amount of technique it takes to dance to country music. Not just anyone can go out on the dancefloor, the steps are still very traditional and lead-and-follow, not as much dancing to the beat as I'm used to. Since the dancefloor was off-limits, I decided to find the mechanical bull, a must in any respectable country bar. I finally found it, rode it, was thrown off of it in .57 seconds (pretty good for a 1st-timer), and was able to cross one thing off of my bucket list.

*boob shot proudly reppin Monsieur Jack.

Jack said something smart and Tony had to check him.
haha.

.sweat.

"The reason people sweat is so they won't catch fire when making love."

-Don Rose

Playlist 1: Neon

I like to dance in my living room while drinking champagne straight from the bottle. Tonight I can't stop playing this song called Empire Ants by Gorillaz. A friend put me on to and it inspired a whole playlist I rediscovered from my iTunes library.

I suggest you wear neon and practice swinging your hair.

I've also made it so you can download my playlist for free.

Trust me. I've been making mix tapes and providing all with funny dance moves and self-deprecating humor to avoid getting laughed at since 1991. Do you know how popular you have to make yourself when you have a dad that picks you up at your junior high school in a '79 Toyota Cressida and sings Darling Nikki at the top of his lungs?

The answer: Very.






Full Playlist: (click on song to download from zShare)*

Gorillaz - Empire Ants
Glass Candy - Candy Castle
Cut/Copy - Saturdays
Digitalism - Pogo
Crystal Castles - Crimewave
Beck - Gamma Ray
Standing on the Shore - Empire of the Sun
Talk Amongst Yourselves - Grand National
Caribou - Found Out

*zShare tip: click where it says 'download this file in small type, not the big DOWNLOAD NOW or PLAY NOW button. I know it sounds stupid but those big icons will plague you with pop ups.