Bitches in Bookstores

"You know how many bookmarks I own??!!"

I'd also consider breaking up with someone for mispronouncing Foucault...

Thanks, Hugh :)

Yes, please.

Has anyone seen Gillette's Masters of Style commercial? It literally stopped me in my tracks.

I was like, holy shit, I need to buy my man this razor.

It was like that for me. Whoever came up with this campaign has the marketing key to my heart.

Turns out he already uses it. Which is great, because I would have shown up on Valentine's Day with just a razor and a confused look on my face as to why I bought it.

Update

I jogged yesterday...

...with my boyfriend.

I don't think you can fully appreciate how unique a statement that is coming from me.

First of all, the last time I jogged was in 8th Grade gym class. After one lap, I veered off the track and collapsed in front of the goal post. Ever since then, I can barely even bring myself to walk briskly.

Second of all, I have a boyfriend.

More importantly, a boyfriend I wanna go JOGGING with.

It doesn't stop there. Being with him has totally motivated me to get my wifey game up (and by up, I mean up from being...non-existent). I'm over here looking up recipes, cleaning like a madwoman, trying to fix my credit, devoting hours on end to my chemistry homework, and doing kegel exercises like a muthaf*cka.

I just feel like I want to maximize my awesome-ness, ya know?

That's what happens when you meet someone you're proud of. Someone that you absolutely adore.

I've become the girl that talks incessently about how good her man is, how well he treats her, and how she wants to do the same. I'm surprised my friends haven't tried to stab me.

But they love it.

And fuck it. So do I.

happy friday!

Salma

and Salma

Isa Leshko

I read this article on the nytimes website and fell in love. On photographing elderly animals, artist Isa Leshko says:

"I am creating these photographs to gain a deeper understanding about what it means to be mortal and to exorcise my fears of aging. I have come to realize that these images are self-portraits, or at the very least, they are manifestations of my fears and hopes about what I will be like when I am old. My intention is to take an honest and unflinching look at old age and I want these images to inspire others to become aware of and to engage with their own attitudes toward aging and mortality. I also want my images to inspire greater empathy toward animals, particularly farm animals. It is rare to see a farm animal that has actually lived its natural life span given that most of these animals experience brutality and death early in their lives."

handsome one, age 33

finn sheep, age 12

teresa, age 13

Elderly Animals - Isa Leshko

lately...

(las vegas)

This was..

The best Birthday card.
EVER.

Thanks, Nikki :-)

.small talk.

Dear Small Talk,

I hate you. You make me uncomfortable and I do not understand why you exist. I have never understood why perfect strangers use you to instantly make themselves imperfect in my eyes. I think most people who use you as a tool are either:

a: Not genuine.
b: Socially awkward but have read lots of self-help books.
c: Salesmen
d: All of the above

I get it, people say silence is awkward. Nobody likes to feel awkward. But is it really more awkward than you? I think maybe you are the King of Awkward. You know what's the worst? Ending you. How do you step across a puddle of politeness? How do you flee the storm of small talk?

You know what I think? I think silence is beautiful. I think silence among people speaks to a sense of personal security and confidence that most people don't have. I think we should strive to be more comfortable with silence instead of filling the space with nonsense. I don't know where it became socially unacceptable to be silent around strangers or 3rd degree acquaintances but I think it's time we start doing things differently.

Small talk, I am hereby protesting against you. I vow to refuse to participate in you even it means hanging up on people in person by abruptly walking away. I know it sounds extreme...but change doesn't come easily.

Sincerely,

Elle

Chairperson for The Society Against Small Talk (SAST)

Question...

If you're able to fart around him, doesn't that kinda make you his girlfriend?

the cocktail: Warm Winter Margarita

Last weekend, National Geographic showed the movies The Emperor’s Journey and Arctic Tale, both amazing films. And at the exact same time, one of the Lifetime networks was showing a movie about the Green River Killer that had such an addictive [and creepy] element to it, I couldn’t help but watch it for the 4 hours it lasted, during the commercial breaks of the two movies. Both of the movies, especially Arctic Tale, touched on the climate crisis our world is facing, the crisis that some people refuse to recognize as being REALITY and tragic. Personally, the saddest thing about climate change in the polar bears habitat of the Arctic is the starvation it often causes because their hunting season is cut short due to the melting ice. I’m not going to preach, but finally watching these two brilliantly made films only furthered my belief that I must do everything possible to educate myself on the state of animals in the world, which I believe is my true calling. Climate change, global warming in general is something we should all learn more about.

The WWF site has good information on what everyone can do to chip in. Everyday I go to work, I turn off all of the lights not being used in my office. Small effort to save a little energy, but it’s something.
Now about this weather….

Farewell sweaty heat, I will see you again in May! Phoenix is cold tonight, a brisk 39 degrees, which, at the time, justified me going to Target in a velour suit. Regret soon followed, in my car I was feeling guilty about my outfit choice and tried to convince myself that my velour could survive one more winter, but the truth is, it can’t. It will be folded and sent to the land of jammie world tonight. In the meantime, I’ve decided to begin making my winter recipes of drinks, and I hope I can help in keeping you boozy, boo-ey, and  cozy this winter. I found a recipe for a Warm Winter Margarita and decided to try the twist on the usually cold drink, since tequila is always a good choice for cold weather. I made it for me and my ex, who is my guinea pig for every “good idea” I’ve had over the past few years. Our review of the Warm Winter Margarita:
GREAT for a snowed-in night, or a cold night with your man, or a cozy night in a cabin with friends. It tastes like Cinnamon Apple Spiced tea, or spiked Apple Cider. Not great for warm weather.

Warm Winter Margarita
6 oz. tequila

3 1/2 cups apple juice
1 cinnamon stick
2 cups dried fruit of your choice
2 tbs. granulated sugar

 (your ingredients, minus the tequila)

Combine apple juice and cinnamon in a heavy pot. Bring to a boil, reduce heat, and simmer for 10 minutes. Remove cinnamon stick. Add sugar, dried fruit, and tequila. Mix well. Serve warm. *[I used dried pineapple, apple, strawberry's, and banana.]

It is kinda weird drinking a margarita from a coffee mug, but the dried fruit on the bottom makes it interestingly yummy!
courtesy of sauza tequila

APT

The closing of APT in the Meatpacking District hit us all hard. I remember getting a text from Cato saying the Manjinga party was cancelled because APT was shutting down...like, for good.

APT was my welcome to NY. It was our go-to place for dope music, dancing, and people watching. It's one of those places that you take your friends from out of town. Everyone into hip hop that's not from NY dreams of going there because of the amazing DJ lineup, and it never gets old or cheesy. I met Bobbito there and invited him to my house party (and he went!). Even us ladies of 3thw did some damage there.

I took this pic of Louie circa 2008:

This one was taken right before it closed (I stole it from someone):

DO YOU SEE WHAT IT SAYS???

Prince Paul
Premier
DJ Spinna
Eclipse
Afrika Bambataa
Rich Medina
The Rub!
Danny Krivit
Stretch Armstrong
Herbert Holler
Special Delivery
DJ Eleven
Manjinga
Moma

OH. MY. GAWD.

This line-up is all you ever wanted or needed.

I don't think we ever got to really mourn.

APT...you will be missed.

.free love.

‎"You must love in such a way that the person you love feels free."
-Thich nhat hanh


There is this way that I want to love you. A way that defies convention. A way that does not lend itself to rules or regulations
see
I wanna love you outside of the space in my soul where love and pain have intersected.
A love unaffected.

I wanna love you the way I used to love before I knew what "Loving" was.

Before questions.

Before deception.

Before late night epiphanies turned my mellow heartbeat into a steady cacophony,
see
I wasn't always this way.
I used to love without realizing I was doing it.
There was no river to cross and no prayer to whisper.

Would you believe me if I told you I never?
I never stood trembling at the threshold of it.
I never had to be carried over.
I wanna stop seeing your outstretched arms as a gentle threat.

I wanna love you in a way that is unburdened from the weight of my memories.
In a way that liberates you from your own prison, wherever it may be.

So I guess I gotta make this less of a poem and more of a promise to love you so real that you feel free.

Here goes:

I promise to make your heart my sky.
Imma love you like the first time I opened my eyes.



©Elle Be 2011

quote

What I know for sure is that how you spend your time defines who you are. I try not to waste time -because I don't want to waste myself. I'm working on not letting people with dark energy consume any of my time. I've learned that the hard way, after giving up hours of myself and my time, which are synonymous when you think about it. I've learned from my experiences of getting sucked into other people's ego dysfunction that their darkness casts a shadow on the light you need to be for yourself and for others.

-Oprah, Oprah's Best Advice Ever!

Home for the Holidays

I'm from an area about seven miles east of downtown Sacramento. It's a mildly depressing place. Kinda like standing smack dab in the middle of the women's clothing section at Walmart. Super cheap, strange people, faint smell of McDonalds in the air, and this nagging feeling of 'I don't belong here...or do I ???'

At least when I go home on Thanksgiving, I can feel good about some of the Christmas decorations at my parent's place. Not because they're festive, but because they tend to stay up ALL YEAR LONG. Eh, what can you do? My mom doesn't really even celebrate Christmas. She likes the pine needles, and one of the elf ornaments reminds her of an old co-worker.

Typical Holiday Conversation:

Relative: Do you have a boyfriend? [already knows answer]

Me: No...

Relative: Are you dating?

Me: Sure.

Relative: Oh nice...are they married?

Me: WTF???

Let me tell you that there is absolutely no precedent for this kind of question. I have to recall some breathing exercises as I try to say, "Of course not" with an expression that isn't shooting daggers. I glance at my phone and check the time: 9:13am. Sigh. When did it get to the point where I have to spike my coffee???

As an adult, my Thanksgiving is all about homemade Pho, beef and broccoli stir-fry, and Game Show Network marathons. Which I'm definitely cool with. Moms has turned into this super sweet, adorable lady.

One that goes to the Walmart at 12am because I mentioned I needed some sheets. (on sale for $19.95!)

One that packs me a surprise To-Go meal for one I get home.

One that calms me down when I threaten to physically harm a sibling/cousin/neighbor.

Thankful for friends.

Thankful for family.

Thankful for my flask.

Chocolate Drop!!

I may be hella late with this one. Definitely wouldn't call myself a T-Pain fan, but this made him go up about 1,000 notches in my cool book.

This reminds me of a particular group of friends, circa 1996.

Love it.